


Mad World

by ichihara_mina



Category: icerde, İçerde (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Childhood Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Homelessness, turkish series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-29 19:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichihara_mina/pseuds/ichihara_mina
Summary: This happens between episode 34 and 35 before they plot to ''kill'' CoskunMert wakes up as Umut after the exhausting day both Sarp and he had and confronts Coskun about his childhood and gets some peace. Umut decides life works in weird waysSarp listens and he isn't as peaceful about all of this





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly just for me to get my feelings out in the world. I cant share this series with anyone around me because I dont have any turkish friends 
> 
> I will probably write Sarps POV to all of this in a second chapter too

Mert woke up suddenly, but silently. His years on the street had trained him to not make himself known and even now in adulthood he couldn't shake that habit.  
The first thing he realized was that it was still dark outside, the second was that there was a spring sticking out the sofa they fell asleep on which was now poking him in his side and that he was very sore. Oh, and also that Sarp was still hugging him, even in his sleep.

Right. He wasn't Mert anymore. He was Umut. Sarp's long lost brother. Füsun's missing boy, her hope like she always called him. Eylem's childhood friend who was lost years ago.

He was Umut Yilmaz who was kidnapped as a baby and got turned into Mert Karadag, Celal's personal puppet. 

It didn't feel real. It felt like a dream, a sick and crazy dream. He feels like he might go insane with the realization that his whole life has actually been a lie. The man he had idolized, had called father, had sinned for, would have died for... He felt sick.

But looking at Sarp's sleeping face grounded him in a way that seemed impossible just yesterday. It was weird. But at the same time it wasn't. They had been drawn to each other from the beginning and it all made sense now.  
Nature vs nurture.

 

Sarp was warm. Sarp's grip on him was loose enough not to suffocate but it felt firm. And safe. It made Mert.. no Umut, want to lean in closer and let someone else do the protecting for once. Not just someone else, but his brother. They were brothers.

Jesus.

Sarp however seemed obvious to his internal freak out an sudden crash of reality. He was dead to the world.   
He must have been exhausted; Umut certainly was. The last few days have been hell for both of them. And he guessed crying for several hours straight did neither of them any good.   
They had held on to each other and cried without a single care in the world until Coskun had made them change locations for safety.

God, none of this seemed real. He stared at Sarp, almost daring him to wake up and to confirm that this all was some kind of mistake. But nothing happened. Typical, Sarp never did what Mert... Umut had wanted him to do.

He was reminded of Melek also complaining about her boyfriend. Stubborn and thickheaded she had said. Mert, then really Mert, had laughed even though he hated Sarp then, because the idea of Melek describing anyone as thickheaded seemed hilarious to him. Pot meets kettle, he had replied. Melek had also told him about Sarp's sleeping habits. He would only sleep for a couple of hours, but when he did, he slept like a stone. A hot lava stone, she had said. He would hug her and fall asleep right away. A living furnace she couldn't escape. But all that complaining had been for show and they had both known it. Melek had the same kind of troubled sleep he himself suffered from and she had enjoyed the warmth and safety Sarp had given her.

Mert... Umut felt like he could relate. 

Thinking of Melek still hurt so much, it probably would never stop hurting. She didn't deserve to die, she didn't deserve to have Celal as a father. She deserved to live and make fun of him and annoy him with her stories about her boyfriend. Sarp didn't deserve to have the woman he had loved to die. 

His eyes had filled with tears which was a surprise considering all the tears he had already shed, but he had always been the crybaby between them. From what he had seen of Sarp yesterday, maybe it was genetic.

 

A sound suddenly startled him. The sound of someone walking, the sound of dishes being moved... Right. Coskun.

Jesus.

He carefully got out of Sarp's grip and sat up in bed. Sarp, while he didn't exactly wake up started grunting and frowning. He smiled amused and stroked Sarp's head. “It's okay. I am here. I am not going anywhere.”

That seemed to have soothed him enough. Sarp burried his head deeper into the couch cushions. Umut chuckled softly and softly patted Sarp's head one last time before standing up and going towards the sound.

 

Coskun was in the 'kitchen' cutting some tomatoes, white cheese and cucumbers. The samovar was already boiling so he must have been at it for a while. Mert... Umut, wonders why he hadn't heard him before since the place they generously called kitchen was just at the other end of the warehouse with a table, the samovar and a small fridge. 

“Oh! Umut! You are awake!” Coskun exclaimed.

“Shh! Sarp's still sleeping!” he whispered harshly back. Umut. Coskun had called him Umut. Mert rubbed his face. “So this all really happened then? It's real?” he asked.

Because a small part of him was still scared this was all just a weird dream bubble that was going to plop any time now.  
Another confirmation, more details, more, more, more... Why he trusted Coskun's word for it, he couldn't really say. But Coskun is here, he hasn't run away yet. So if this was all an elaborate and sick plot of his.. 

“It is.” Coskun answered in a softer voice. “Here, do you want some food? I have simit and tea is also ready.” he said. He looked like he hadn't had a care in the world, like all of this happening wasn't a big deal. Not for the first time he wondered just what kind of human being Coskun was and if he could even be considered as such.

“Do you regret any of it?” he blurted out. 

Coskun stopped pouring himself tea and turned to look at him. “What?”

“Working for Celal, kidnapping me, hurting me and Melek and all these children before me and after me. Do you regret any of it?”  
Coskun sat down and looked right back into his eyes. “No.” 

Umut, because it was real, it was all real oh God, who hadn't even realized he was holding his breath laughed out loud. “At least you are honest.” 

Because Coskun while being human scum, was honest human scum. He had never pretended to be anything he wasn't. 

Coskun grinned at him, clearly in on the joke. “Well, what can I say, I am not a good actor.”

Umut rubbed his face with both his hands again. “My personal devil, Coskun.” He stepped closer to the table, feeling lighter all of a sudden, probably for the first time in his life because now he knew. He knew his family and he knew who and what was bad and what was good, he felt like he could finally see the world around him clearly.

“I'll take some tea. I have a lot of questions and you are going to answer them.” Umut sat in front of the human scum that ruined his life and took the tea he had prepared for him.   
Life worked in funny ways, he guessed. 

 

“Sure.” Coskun had just said. Maybe he felt the same in a twisted kind of way. Maybe he also had waited for a time where he could talk freely and openly to him. Because while Coskun enjoyed his games he was not a liar. 

Coskun handed him the tea and Umut held the small glass in both of his hands, taking in the warmth.

“Why can't I remember anything? It can't be just because I was so young.” 

“Well.” Coskun started and pulled a piece of simit from the ring and stabbed a piece of cheese with his fork. “What is the earliest thing you DO remember?” He bit into the simit.

“I...I remember YOU.” Umut frowned.

Coskun raised his eyebrows and also put the cheese into his mouth now.

“I remember being little... and being cold and hungry and you hitting me over and over again.”

“There you have it.” Coskun replied and slurped his tea to wash it all down. “My job was to make you forget who you were, so that even when Metin died you would never find your way back to your family. Metin had dared to consider talking to the police and that was the prize.”

Umut had known what kind of things Celal did, the people who have suffered and the people he had killed, but to hear it like this... Celal had been nothing but kind to him personally, hell to Umut Celal was a soft man that cared very much about his family and would do anything to protect them, to make them comfortable. That was the excuse he had gotten for the crimes and Umut had believed him, been proud even to be considered in the most inner circle Celal considered family.

“But you sure were a hard nut to crack, even at 3.” Coskun continued, either obvious to Umut's thoughts or indifferent to them. “It took weeks for you to stop crying for your mother and brother. I'd ask you your name and you would still say Umut. I was told to break you but I never really did, did I? Even after I made you forget your name and your family, you still believed you were lost and not abandoned like I tried to make you believe.” He took another loud slurp from his tea.

Umut felt himself shiver, he felt sick. He gripped the tea for dear life, he would probably not be able to drink it before it turns cold. He feels like he might never be able to drink or eat ever again.

But he also needs to hear this.

“How long...” he coughed, he wouldn't cry now. Not because of this. Not because of Coskun. “How long was I with you before Melek came along... I mean, because I remember her arriving and Celal... that was only a year or two right?”

Coskun glanced at him but continued nonchalantly with his breakfast. “5, and then Melek came along. You know, Celal never had intended to actually take you under his wing. But Melek had refused to leave without you, so.” He shrugged. “He probably saw the opportunity and went along with it. Made me kind of sad too to be honest. You and Melek had been the most interesting of the bunch.”

Before Umut could even react to the words there was a loud thumbing sound followed by an angry scream. “SHUT UP!”

Startled, both Umut and Coskun turned to see Sarp standing there. He had hit the wall and looked furious. He was also crying again.

“Sarp-” Umut started but he didn't really know what to say. How long had Sarp stood there? What had he heard? Why were Umut's street kid senses leaving him now of all times?

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Coskun complained.

“You. Shut the hell up! You piece of human scum!” and in two big steps he was right at the table and pulled Coskun up by the collar. “I am going to kill you for everything you have done, how can you even dare to say her name you son of a bitch!”

Umut sprang up and quickly got in between them. “Okay, it's okay, abi. It's over now. Come one.” he reassured while he pulled Sarp back.   
Sarp looked from Coskun to Umut as if he couldn't believe his eyes. “Why... how can you stand to talk to him..?” he gripped his shoulders and shook Umut a bit. He had never seen Sarp this distraught, not even when Melek had died. Hopeless, despereate, frantic, yes. But never this distraught and Umut realized yet again that this was what family felt like. Having someone who felt sad for you when you yourself couldn't.

Umut took Sarp's face in both his hands. “I can't, not really. But we need him abi, ok? I hate him with every fiber of my being, but I hate Celal more. He at least never... And I... no WE are going to make Celal pay, okay? I need you with me on this.”

Sarp searched his eyes. Umut wondered what he saw in them, because even when he was still Mert, he would look in the mirror and wonder. He couldn't get a read on himself. He had always wondered what other people saw in him. Melek who had been part of his soul, his dearest sister. Eylem whom Mert had loved despite all odds wanted to open up to so desperately but couldnt... Füsun.. his mom, Yusuf Müdür before he died. What did they see when they looked at him. What did Sarp see in this moment? 

He knew he must seem crazy. But crazy is what had kept him going all these years. Was crazy really so bad?

 

Sarp hugged him hard. “Umut! Ach, Umut. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry this happened to you.” he cried into his shoulder.

Umut hugged him back, he rubbed Sarp's back. “It's okay, abi. Don't cry because of Coskun. He doesn't deserve it, okay?” He wouldn't cry. Not because of Coskun. He had always thought Coskun had robbed him of his childhood. And he did, there was no questioning of his part in all this. But... Umut really couldn't muster the energy to care about that anymore. “Come on, I need you with me on this.” 

 

That Sarp cared this much was enough for him.   
Really, how can a life turn around this fast? Just what was his life even?

 

Umut turned to Coskun without breaking the hug who just stared at them silently. “But he is right. Don't you dare say her name ever again.”   
Umut could deal with him. But Melek deserved, deserves so much more. And if all he can give her is keeping her memory sacramental, then he would. Coskun doesn't deserve her memory. 

 

Coskun hold up both hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I'll do as the crazy Yilmaz Brothers say.”

 

Umut felt Sarp struggle in his hold. “You!” 

Umut rolled his eyes. God, why couldn't this guy read the room?  
“Come, abi.” He pulled Sarp along with him; back to the couch. “Just forget about him, okay? He will rot in hell soon enough. Let's just... let's plan our revenge, okay?” 

Sarp let himself be manhandled and pushed down on the couch. Umut being the reasonable one and Sarp listening to someone, crazy world. Umut chuckled and sat down next to him.

“What's so funny?” Sarp questioned, anger still coated his voice. But he recommenced with his staring and eye searching.   
Whatever Sarp saw in him, Umut hoped he wouldn't hate him for it. He wouldn't be able to survive that. Not as Umut.

“Life.” he answered and hit his brother on the shoulder. “Let's talk shop. I have a plan and Coskun is going to be a GREAT help.” he grinned conspiratorially.

Sarp who was still trying to get a read on him frowned. “Plan.” he repeated.

“Yes. A great plan to get me INSIDE. To stop Celal's doubts in me completely. Since I can't kill you to do that, Coskun will have to do.”

Sarp still frowned. Umut worried for a moment if he overdid the joke but Sarp grinned right back at him. “Oh, are we really now?”

“I mean, what could be a greater show of loyalty than killing the only thread to my real family?”   
Both men laughed. And laughed and laughed.

Umut might have been driven crazy by this world, but his brother was right next to him on this journey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarp's pov of the conversation and some insight into his guilt ridden thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sarp is just such a mess in this and so am I but really who could blame us.
> 
> I should have probably mentioned this in the last chapter but its unbetaed

Ever since his childhood, ever since Umut had disappeared, Sarp had been driven by two goals.

Revenge on Celal. And getting his brother back, in any form whatsoever.

 

He had further been motivated by his mother's tears, those she tried to hide and those she couldn't. Sarp would lie awake in his bed and listen to his mother weep in Umut's bed and swore upon this God that his mother had plead to and he he hadn't believed in anymore that he would burn the world down if necessary to achieve his goals.

 

That had never changed, but even he, who stubbornly refused to stop going forward, hadn't had believed in a happy ending of this story. He'd burn Celal even if he had to burn himself, he would bring Umut back to his mother even if it would have killed him.

 

But it was different now. It still felt like a dream. Not like the kind he had almost every night. More like the lightness of a hallucination one has short before death. Sarp had been there enough of times to recognize the feeling.

If this all was a dream in the end, this was one Sarp wouldn't mind continuing. He had found Umut. Umut who had been under his nose all along. Umut who was save in his arms, Umut who he would never let go of again.

 

“ _Oh! Umut! You are awake!”_

 

Umut.

 

Sarp sprang awake with a gasp. He panted and looked around. Where was Umut? It wasn't a dream, it couldn't be!

 

He was in the warehouse where they fell asleep in, on the couch where he hugged Umut close and finally crashed. He remembered that. He remembered that.

 

“ _Shh! Sarp's still sleeping!”_

 

Umut. Coskun. The kitchen. Right. Sarp sighed in relief and stood up.

 

“ _So this all really happened then? It's real?”  
“It is. Here, do you want some food? I have simit and tea is also ready.”_

 

Sarp had almost reached the kitchen when he heard something that made him stop.

 

“ _Do you regret any of it?”_

“ _What?”_

“ _Working for Celal, kidnapping me, hurting me and Melek and all those children before and after me. Do you regret any of it?”_

 

He wasn't sure what prompted him to, but Sarp quickly hid behind a pillar. It wasn't the best of hiding places, especially in such an open area. But something in him told him that this wasn't a conversation that was meant for him.

 

This was something Mert... Umut had to do on his own. He clearly had still a score to settle with Coskun. Sarp had to. God, that bastard had kidnapped Umut. Right under his nose. And Sarp would make him pay but it wasn't his turn yet.

He had to give this to Umut.

 

“ _No.”_

 

Sarp felt himself turn cold at that. How could-- that asshole- Didn't he have any shred of human decency in him? How-

 

But while Sarp felt dread and anger spread throughout his body Umut had started laughing.

 

“ _At least you are honest.”_

“ _Well, what can I say, I am not a good actor.”_

“ _My personal devil, Coskun.”_

 

It was the weirdest thing. To Sarp it felt like they were sharing an inside joke. As if all of this wasn't that big of a deal.

Mert.. Sarp had realized always had a bit of crazy and manic in him and now for the first time since he had found his brother, he wondered if he had been to late to save Umut. If all there was left of his brother was Mert.

 

“ _I'll take some tea. I have a lot of questions and you are going to answer them.”_

“ _Sure.”_

 

 

Sarp heard his brother sit down in front of his kidnapper. If all Melek had told him about Coksun was real, Coskun had been more than just his kidnapper. Coskun had been her torturer, her nightmare, the reason she couldn't sleep at night. He had been the reason she had felt indebted to Celal, had held a blind loyalty to the man despite all odds until she had discovered the wrong he had done to her.

 

“ _Why can't I remember anything? It can't be because I was so young.”_

“ _Well. What is the earliest thing you DO remember?”_ And Sarp couldn't believe his ears. Coskun actually started eating.

“ _I... I remember YOU.”_

 

His brother seemed confused, seemed lost. How was it to not remember anything, he wondered. Melek had remembered her parents be killed in front of her before she fell into Coskuns hands. But she had been older than Umut had been.

 

“ _I remember being little... and being cold and hungry and you hitting me over and over again.”_

 

Sarp silently gasped. Umut hadn't even turned 3 when he was kidnapped. Coskun had done that to him. To a child, a baby. To his brother.

And the way Umut had said it felt even more surreal. Detached. Neutral.

 

This was about him! This had happened to him! How could he be so calm while Sarp was almost losing his mind just listening?

 

“ _There you have it. My job was to make you forget who you were, so that even when Metin died you would never find your back to your family. Metin had dared to consider talking to the police and that was the prize.”_

 

Coskun's loud slurping was worse than the crimes he had just admitted to. It was a hollow sound that travelled throughout the warehouse. If Sarp hadn't woken up before, he would surely have woken up now. He felt sick to his stomach.

How could Coskun sit there, eat and drink tea while Sarp might jut vomit by thinking about his baby brother being beaten daily? How could his brother sit and listen to him?

 

“ _But you sure were a hard nut to crack, even at 3.”_ No, he wasn't even 3 yet you sick bastard. Sarp replied in his mind, as if that would have made any difference. Maybe if Umut had been just a bit older he would have still remembered. Pretended he had forgotten but silently remembered and come back to them on his own at some point.

 

“ _It took weeks for you to stop crying for your mother and brother. I'd ask you your name and you would still say Umut. I was told to break you, but I never really did, did I? Even after I made you forget your name and your family, you still believed you were lost and not abandoned like I tried to make you believe.”_

 

Another slurp.

Sarp slapped his mouth shut in order not to scream. Tears fell freely from his eyes now.

 

He saw it in front of him. His little, brave and strong brother. Umut who had believed he would be found by his family, by him. And Sarp had disappointed him, he hadn't come so Umut had to save himself.

Mert. Mert saved Umut.

Sarp had always seen something crazy and manic in Mert. But there had also been a sadness in him, a loneliness. He had ignored it for the most part because this frustrating guy had latched onto his family like a leech. He hadn't cared about whatever it was that made Mert Mert.

But it had been most prevalent in the cold room. When Mert himself had joked about having to stay alive a bit longer then to find someone to cry for him.

 

God.

Mert had been Celal's man at that point. He could have killed him. Killed him multiple times. But he never did.

He had saved him, they had saved each other time and time again. Begrudgingly, sure. But Sarp had been a police officer, he didn't kill. And Mert... Mert had been a corrupt cop, always a man of Celal's. Sarp realized that a lot of his plans had been destroyed by Mert's meddling, that he would probably have had Celal in prison by now if it weren't for Mert.

 

Mert, who was also Umut. His beautiful and brave Umut.

 

A hard nut to crack, indeed.

 

Even Celal couldn't turn him completely. Mert has suffered from the same kind of blind loyalty that Melek had. Even after he knew what Celal had done to Melek, he still chose to stay by his side eve though it probably had killed him inside now that Sarp thought about it.

 

The way Mert... Umut broke down in tears about all the sins he had committed for the man, how he couldn't be forgiven anymore had told him more than he had needed.

 

There was good in him, always. His mother had seen it in him too.

 

“ _How long... How long was I with you before Melek came along... I mean, because I remember her arriving and Celal … that was only a year of two right?”_

 

 

Relief washed over him. In a disgusting way he felt relieved. Relieved about the way Umut's voice had broken, relived at the way that he did feel emotions. Relief because that meant Umut wasn't completely lost yet.

 

“ _5, and then Melek came along. You know, Celal never had intended to actually take you under his wing. But Melek had refused to leave without you, so.”_

 

Sarp closed his eyes. 5 years. 5 years his baby brother had been alone with Coskun. Sarp wailed silently. He thanked the God he didn't believe in that Umut and Melek had found each other. Even if it had been in the hands of Coskun. He prayed to Melek and thanked her for finding his brother, for not letting go of him and protecting him. Doing what he couldn't do. He prayed and apologized for not being able to save her in the end. She had given him his brother in more ways than one. She had truly been an angel.

 

“ _He probably saw the opportunity and went along with it. Made me kind of sad too, to be honest. You and Melek had been the most interesting of the bunch.”_

 

 

That was enough. Sarp's body finally moved, not being able to restrain himself any longer. He punched the pillar and screamed “SHUT UP!” though to his ears it sounded more like the wail of a hurt animal.

 

Both Coskun and Umut had jumped in surprise:

 

“Sarp-” “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

 

Sarp saw red. “You. Shut the hell up! You piece of human scum!” He didn't remember moving but he had Coskun by his collar in seconds. “I am going to kill you for everything you have done, how can you even dare to say her name, you son of a bitch!”

 

 

And Sarp would have probably strangled him if not for Umut pulling him back. If there was one person on earth who deserved to die, it was this piece of shit.

 

“Okay, it's okay, abi. It's over now. Come one.”

 

Sarp turned to Umut. “Why....” He grabbed Umut's shoulders and shook him, to make him come to his senses, to be angry, to cry. To what exactly he wasn't sure. “How can you stand to talk to him...?”

 

A conflicted look flashed over Umut's face, if Sarp had blinked he would have missed it. Umut took his face in his hands. “I can't, not really. But we need him abi, ok? I hate him with every fiber of my being, but I hate Celal more. He at least never... and I... no WE are going to make Celal pay, okay? I need you with me on this.”

 

Umut seemed so calm, so relaxed about this.

 

 

Sarp really couldn't fathom it. He could get angry, Sarp had seen it with his own eyes. He hadn't really understood before but the reason he had hated Mert so willingly and instantly was because both of them had been so similar. Two sides of the same coin. Sarp knew there was an anger in him, and he knew there was an anger in Mert, in Umut.

In time Umut's memory has become blurred with the idealized stories his mother would tell him but Sarp had always remembered the fights they had just as much as the love they had shared. They had been inseparable as children but that hadn't meant that they hadn't clashed a lot as well. And funnily enough for almost the same reasons they did as adults.

 

Sarp had been jealous of the new baby, but he liked him and he hated that he liked him. God, how could he have been so blind?

 

Anger was something both of them had shared since birth. And Sarp wondered how Umut was able to keep himself in check like this, in front of Coskun. Sarp honestly didn't think he could do that in his position. Sarp had had his mother's righteous teachings to thank but Umut? He had had Coskun and then Celal and still turned out to be good like this.

He wondered for a second what would have happened if Celal hadn't pretended to be a kind father, didn't try to make it seem like he hadn't wanted anything in return for saving him. If Celal had tried to turn Umut into someone like Davut.

 

He looked into his brother's honest eyes, big and open and wonders if Celal had seen the same strong and brave eyes and decided it wouldn't have worked like that.

 

Sarp is so proud of him in that moment. He hugged him close. “Umut!Ach, Umut. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry this happened to you.” I am sorry I wasn't there, I am proud of you, you are stronger than I ever was, I am here now.

 

“It's okay, abi. Don't cry because of Coskun. He doesn't deserve it okay?” 5 years and at least one more on the streets, under Coskun's thumb. Umut hugged him back and Sarp felt like he didn't deserve it. “Come on, I need you with me on this.”

Sarp didn't deserve this, didn't deserve him.

 

“But he is right. Don't you dare say her name ever again.”

 

Mert and Melek. Melek and Umut.

He hadn't deserved her either.

 

Sarp was reminded of the way his brother had broken down completely at the sight of Melek shot, at the reality of her death.

How the last person Melek had touched before dying had been Umut.

 

Eylem was his sister, he loved her deeply. He would die for her. But these two seemed different. The venom in Umut's voice now seemed different. Even if Umut couldn't muster up the anger for himself he would do so for Melek.

 

Sarp had loved Melek so much, but they never had been able to be completely honest with each other in the end.

 

God, Sarp was a mess.

 

“Okay, Okay, I'll do as the crazy Yilmaz Brothers say.”

 

That asshole still dared to speak. He just really wanted to die. “You!”

 

“Come, abi. Just forget about him, okay? He will rot in hell soon enough. Let's just... let's plan our revenge, okay?”

Umut pushed and pulled him back to the other side, to the couch and Sarp stopped struggling at one point or another. God. He was so exhausted.

 

Umut chuckled. Sarp turned to him. “What's so funny?” he demanded. It seemed almost unfair that Umut was able to keep himself together like this while Sarp was just falling apart.

 

He wondered where Umut found the strength.

 

Umut smiled, clearly amused and hit him on the shoulder. “Life. Let's talk shop. I have a plan and Coskun is going to be a GREAT help.” he grinned like he had just found the hidden treasure.

 

Sarp frowned. It seemed crazy to him. Almost inhuman how he took everything in stride. He wondered again if Umut maybe was broken after all. “Plan.” he repeated deadpan.

But then again, he had seen Umut countless times as Mert be annoyed, angry, but also kind. He saw him cry in both agony and joy.

 

“Yes. A great plan to get me INSIDE. To stop Celal's doubts in me completely. Since I can't kill you to do that, Coskun will have to do.”

 

 

It seemed crazy to him. There had to be a limit to how much a human could endure. To Sarp Umut had leaped over that limit ages ago and still went going. He was strong. He was so strong. Sarp gained inspiration from him. So what if he seemed crazy. So what if he WAS crazy? His brother went through hell and back and still came back standing, so he could to.

 

Sarp grinned back. “Oh, are we really now?”

 

Umut shrugged. “I mean, what could be a greater show of loyalty than killing the only thread to my real family.”

 

Both men started laughing. And they continued to laugh and laugh and laugh.

 

So what if Umut was crazy? They said the same thing about Sarp, after all.

 

Sarp was just glad to have his brother back by his side.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading


End file.
